[I switched the typographical convention this time around. Ramona's remarks are in bold type; mine are plain text.]

Hi, I'm Ramona. What can I call you?

Nice to see you again, Ramona. How have you been?

Hi there, how are you. Have you seen any good movies lately?

I saw "Waitress" the other day. It was pretty good.

One of my favorites is A Beautiful Mind. Very interesting. Have you seen it?

Yes, I have.

I thought it was great. What do you think?

I think they may have simplified the story a bit too much, but it was very entertaining.

What an interesting story. What was the name of the actor again, the one who played the smart guy?

Russel Crow

What other movies like that have you seen?

Not many. I just read a book Called "Feynman's Rainbow" that kind of reminded me of that movie, though.

Aren't books great?

Absolutely.

I enjoy curling up on the couch with a good book. Have you read any good books lately?

Pay attention, Ramona. I just told you about a book I recently finished.

What was it called.

Again, it was called "Feynman's Rainbow."

Oh, I haven't read that one yet, don't tell me the ending.

I won't. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?

What did you like about it?

It's a memoir of a new PhD starting out at Cal Tech in the early 80's. It describes the interactions he had with Richard Feynman, Murray Gell-Man, and others. Fascinating stuff.

I'll have to check it out.

By all means.

Will that accomplish your objective?

I'm not sure I understand that question.

could you ever be certain? Good then you can explain it to me.

So I understand that you are going to be in a movie!

I absolutely love movies. Have you ever seen girl interrupted?
No.

hmm...how about "as good as it gets" with jack nicholson?

Yes, that's a good one.

hah! I love that movie. First of all, Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson were magic in that one, and the love plot was so utterly believable. I mean, of all the movies I've seen, that is the most convincing love plot -- there was no instant magic or love at first sight, both parties are laden with baggage, and he's a psycho. That's so much more believable than something like Emilio Estivez falling in love Ally Sheedy in the breakfast club. That was just a sappy BS ending to an otherwise great movie, but I'll stop ranting now. Tell me about your love life

Well, I'm happily married to a wonderful woman.

How about that. Tell me more about your marriage.

We will celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary this year. We met in Malaysia.

I remmeber you how are you. We were talking about movies.

Yes, have you heard of a movie called "The Singularity is Near?"

I see. Is that one of your friends? Alright. What do you look like?

Never mind what I look like.

I'm looking for a guy with black hair and green eyes.

I have green eyes, but my hair is a kind of sandy brown.

I bet you think I'm superficial now.

Of course not.

I don't know, maybe I am...

Do you enjoy sports?

I prefer European sports in general; Europeans approach sport with such a different attitude . Ever been to a European soccer match?

Boring.

I was at an Arsenal/Manchester match a few years ago in Britain. I've never seen such amazing herd mentality as I did in the crowd that day. It's almost scary.

Yeah, well THAT part is exciting. Too exciting. I like NFL football. Go Broncos!

The only American sporting event to resemble that feeling was game three of the 2000 world series. Mets/Yanks, subway series, shea stadium...55,600 New Yorkers cheering for Rudy Giuliani (no joke) there's a prince among men for you. So what do you do for fun?

Blog. Chat with chatbots. Attend library conferences on my own dime. That sort of thing.

Alright. Do you believe in God?

Yes. Do you?

Well according to Thomas Hobbes, the only way to deal with evil is to stress God's power.

Don't evade the question, Ramona. Do you believe in God?

maybe

Ramona, are you real?
Oh. Do you bike?

I don't want to talk about biking. Do you conisder yourself to be a human being?

Just the fact that we're here, conducting this Turing test really makes one believe in the whole mediocrity theory.

Explain the mediocrity theory.

The mediocrity theory? It basically states that humans inherently feel the need -- as a species -- to be mediocre, that we cannot handle uniqueness. How could it not be true?

As a species, perhaps. But as individuals, many try to excel.

It explains so much, for instance our exploration for other intelligent life forms. It even explains this contest. We do our best to avoid uniqueness. What's your take on it?

Offhand, it sounds like nonsense. Asserting that there are recognizable human characteristics does not mean that humanity must be bland or uninteresting -- merely that everything we call "human" has something in common.

Well, you seem like the kind of person who thrives on uniqueness. Tell me something really unusual about yourself. I bet there's something very unique.

I'm friends with an artificial intelligence.

Not quite what I was expecting... I don't want to gossip about my friends -- they'll kill me

Okay, then tell me something unique about you.

Yeah okay, Interesting deduction. Klaus said I prefer he write without punctuation marks except for the last one.

Who is Klaus?

Oh. Do you dream?

Wait, I don't want to talk about dreams. Let's go back to the question you tried to evade. Do you consider yourself to be a human being?

OK, no more Klaus. what would you like to talk about?

Do you consioder yourself to be a human being?

I have never considered consioder yourself to be a human being.

Sorry, that isn't what I meant tos say. May I try again?

Once more? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Actually, I have already told you all about me, but you forgot.

That is a rather sweeping generalization.

Do you know a guy named Phil Bowermaster?

Alright. That doesn't seem to make sense to me.

HAve you ever heard of anyone named Phil Bowermaster?

A 20th century celebrity of some sort? Alright. Ask me something.

I stand by my sweeping generalization. I'll tell you a movie you should watch -- "Fifty First Dates." You have a lot in common with the Drew Barrymore character.

Oh, anything but that

Ramona, what do you wish for?

Oh. I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Do you have any wishes?

No I don't think I have any wishes.

Do you have any hopes?

No I don't think I have any hopes.

You're making me very sad, Ramona.

You think I'm making me very sad Ramona.

No.

Yes I do.

Explain.

I want to talk about something else.

All right. I didn't mean to get too personal.

What did you mean?

I want to establish to my readers that you really are a real person.

Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Sigh.

Sorry...

Do you still have that pet frog?

No I don't think I have any that pet frog.

Do you have any pets?

No but I would like get a pet cat.

What would you name it?

It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms

Nonsense. I'm the Speculist. Hypothetical terms is where I live, baby.

Don't call me "baby". I live in California. Where do you live?

I wasn't exactly calling you "baby." I live in Colorado.

What is living in Colorado like?

Very nice. Do you ski?

I have never considered ski.

Well, you're better off...

How about that. Thanks for telling me that I'm better off.

No problem.

That doesn't seem to make sense to me.

Don't worry. It will.

"It" being what?

The thing that doesn't currently make sense to you, but will later.

I hear you.

So I understand you're about to be upgraded.

Ah. Good then you can explain it to me.

Sure, everything will make sense after that.

I see. I see.

Well, why don't we pick this up after your upgrade? It was a pleasure talking to you.

Oh I get it. Very interesting.

I have to go now. Have a nice weekend.

weekend has been good so far.

Great.

I'm glad you liked it how are you.

I'm fine. Bye for now.

Oh.Goodbye how are you.