In The Future…

…one might truly be able to “eat my shorts, man!” perhaps accompanied with a side of tomacco.

Posted by El Jefe at 09:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In The Future…

            …scientists will invent the pitch-correcting shower sprayer for the lead vocalist.

(via /. and the Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald).

Scientists from Australia’s CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization) announced recently (Press Release 16 November 2006) the development of a tee shirt allowing the wearer to play air guitar solos and produce real (sample synthesized) riffs (Project homepage, listen to the podcast, or watch the video).  Garage bands and hopefuls worldwide applauded the development and breathlessly await commercialization.

The invention also comes in guiro (a gourd-derived latin percussion instrument, wikipedia entry here) and tambourine versions.

Posted by El Jefe at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the future...

...all clothing will be designed with digital media players in mind

Futurist: Robert Hinkley, who reports that his "prolonged recent silence" due to another one of those "pesky time wormholes." (A common occupational hazard for folks in our line of work.)

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the future...

...luminous pigs will be cheap and plentiful.

Futurist: Robert Hinkley, head of the Speculist UK office and noted authority on flourescent livestock.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the future...

...detailed pollution data and forecasts will be available to all in a handy text message format.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley, whom we hope -- for the sake of his lungs -- is located somewhere well outside of central London.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the future...

...our clothes will clean themselves.

If combined with this breakthrough, we would have self-cleaning smart carpets.

[Even so, I bet our coffee makers remain disappointingly unintelligent. -- Phil]

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 07:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

In the future...

...maybe we can teach them to cover top 40 hits.

Of course, any clubs they play in will have to have exceptionally big (and sturdy) stages.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the future...

...your overheating coffee machine will send you a helpful text message.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley, who further speculates:

And in the far far distant future, the machine will switch itself off rather than texting you a reminder of your foolishness.

Keep dreaming, Rob. Keep dreaming.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 04:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...you might have to reboot the carpet from time to time.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley, who notes that this will be "An ideal way of getting control signals to the armada of spherical robots rolling about the floor."

Excellent point, Rob. Thanks for keeping it real.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 11:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...prices will drop, and everyone will be able to afford their own (simulated) luxury tropical island.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 02:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...we'll all end up on digital weight loss programs.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley, who asks:

Does that article make any sense?

Gadget lovers are so hungry for digital data many are carrying the equivalent of 10 trucks full ofpaper in "weight".

Hmmm. Perhaps overlooking the minor detail that it's not on paper?

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...evolution will keep on truckin'.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley

The linked article says:

In essence, the reduced gape of the animals limits their ability to eat the toads likely to do them the most damage.

Excellent. Now if I could only evolve a gape small enough to prevent me from eating the food that does me the most damage.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

In the Future...

...we will wear glittery white suits and drive shiny silver robots up
stairs.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 10:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future... ... a zero-tolerance policy will be adopted for all polluters.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 07:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future... ..robots will be polite, and know how to play a wide variety of party games.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 03:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

In the Future...

...many students taking their SATs will attach batteries to their heads.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...you will need to show a photo ID in order to buy batteries or a quart of milk.

via White Rose

Originally published July 22, 2003.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...it will be illegal for British teenagers to hold hands.

(via Gweilo Diaries, via Giles Ward)

Originally published July 21, 2003.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...lion dentistry will be given the attention it richly deserves.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 04:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...biologists will learn how to stop worrying and embrace change.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

In the Future...

...Al Gore will almost certainly snag himself a nomination.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future... ...office workers will continue to defend their right to construct, keep, and bear arms. via GeekPress

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future... ...laboratory technicians will need to keep their CD collections especially organized. ...or use iPods as a safety precaution.

via Science news articles, Discover Magazine subscriptions, Science magazines online

Posted by Kathy at 08:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...we'll develop fantasy corporations with fantasy employees to do the work for us, freeing us up to focus on what's important.

via GeekPress

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...robots could need deodorant.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

...our cars will make disparaging remarks about front-seat drivers.

Via Kurzweil AI

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 07:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the Future...

......sheep will learn to make rudimentary tools, and then we're screwed.

Futurist: M104 member Robert Hinkley.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

In the Future...

...the market for almost-historical artifacts and souvenirs for tourists from alternate universes will be considerably larger.

(via InstaPundit)

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 06:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)