Look, I know this is way off topic, and I'm nobody's Lileks or anything, but I just had to share this message that I found in my inbox...

See there? It's a restaurant and they're serving Restaurant Quality pasta!

Pretty bold move. I hope it doesn't come back to bite them. Because from the pictures, it looks more to me like Church-Potluck Quality pasta -- or possibly even Hospital-Cafeteria Quality pasta.

But what do I know? Way to reach for the stars, Pizza Hut!

UPDATE: Instalanche. I'm so inspired by this entry's success that I'm going to try to write several blog-quality posts over the next few days. And today at work, my goal is to make one or two middle-management quality decisions. Fingers crossed!

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Our friend Harvey, who puts modesty aside to claim that Ed Wood himself "never made anything as terrible" as what you're about to see, gives us a glimpse into a plausible future where crusty old guys play cards with robots -- I'm wondering if the robot is some kind of in-home care-giver. We know the moment the Singularity occurs because the robot helpfully announces the fact, but what's really interesting is what happens next. What if posthuman intelligence uses our own obnoxiousness (and I'm using that word in a fairly literal sense) against us?

Chilling.

Also, doesn't it seem to shed some light on the scenario described here? (Warning: language.)

Adds an ironic twist to the whole "poisonous gases" thing, doesn't it?

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Micahel Anissimov shares 10.

I would add:

11. Just can't take any more election coverage.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Let me count the ways.

Some of this is, like, way too familiar. Take number 43 -- I'm sure that applies across a lot of different industries. It may even be universal!

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm supposed to send this out to a number of people equal to pi -- take it and you'll see how that came about. Rather than jamming up any more mailboxes, I thought I would just share it here, with a few caveats:

1. I don't think it really reveals anything about your personality.

2. I bet the Dali Lama knows nothing about this thing, and if he did he would think it was a load of crapola.

3. Speaking of crap, there's this neighborhood cat who has been doing his business in our yard against the will of both myself and my dogs; I think that fact has a lot more to do with how I responded to one of the questions than any secret feelings I might have towards anyone.

4. I note that two of the colors mean essentially the same thing. Or maybe there is a very subtle difference between the two. I don't know, either the "Tibetan" "monk" who came up with this thing is kinda lazy, or I just don't have the spiritual chops to make these important distinctions.

All right then, with that out of the way, who wants to take the...

Amazing Tibetan Personality Test?

An actual image from Tibet

One final thought: Okay, I might sound a little cynical and skeptical about this thing, but the truth is that my getting everything I ever wanted in life depends on 15 or more of you taking it. So come on! Did I mention that it's amazing?

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 06:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I Like this one.

I don't think I'd like this one:

Clocky does a runner when you hit the snooze button, forcing you to actually get up out of bed and find the little bugger to turn it off. By which time, of course, you've done the hard work and you're ready to get up. Simple, but genius.

Better living through technology? See the thing is: when I'm up, I'm up. Once out of bed and walking around, I might have little choice but to go find my trusty sledge hammer.

On the other hand, look at what a cute little guy Clocky is:

Could I really smash him into a thousand pieces?

I'm afraid so.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 10:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

These are a great idea, but I wouldn't recommend actually using them. One thing you don't need is for an idiot to catch you in the act of calling him or her an idiot.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 06:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It seemed like every geeky blog on the Internet linked to this over the weekend, but in case you missed it, I give you the Star Trek Inspirational Posters:

See them all.

Posted by Stephen Gordon at 12:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, almost. Dave Price at Dean's World gives the Top Ten Signs the Singularity has Occured.

Very funny, but #2 is kind of disturbing. Makes you wonder what eating a gingerbread man might be like.

Via some obscure little blog nobody's ever heard of.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 07:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here's a heartwarmer:

Lovesick swan falls in love with swan paddle boat

BERLIN (Reuters) - A swan has fallen in love with a plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the German town of Muenster and has spent the past three weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size, a sailing instructor said Friday.

Peter Overschmidt, who operates a sailing school and rents the two-seat paddle boat on the Aasee pond, said the black swan with a bright red beak has not left the white swan boat's side since it flew in one day in early May.

"It seems like he's fallen in love," said Overschmidt. "He protects it, sits next to it all the time and chases away any sail boats that get anywhere nearby. He thinks the boat is a strong and attractive swan."

That Muenster must be a heck of a romantic place. First the cheese and now this. Actually, I have a good friend from Muenster, but I don't think her love life was ever quite this extravagant. She married an engineer named Stefan.

Nice guy and all, but, you know...same species, regular size, etc.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As service to our readers, we occasionally pick up news headlines that we think would make good movie titles. Last time out, it was Shape-Shifting Robot Nanotech Swarms on Mars. A little long, perhaps, but very high-concept. It's easy to picture that as part of a double feature at a drive-in on a hot summer night.

Now how about this headline from Boing Boing (courtesy of GeekPress):

Wasp performs roach-brain-surgery to make zombie slave-roaches

Clearly, that is far too long for a movie title. But I think we can cut it right down to the core:

Zombie Slave-Roaches

That's pretty good, but I think it might now be a little on the short side. Those ZSR's need a good verb or prepositional phrase to complete them. How about:

Zombie Slave-Roaches from Outer Space

Or maybe:

Zombie Slave-Roaches Attack!

Or possibly even:

Zombie Slave-Roaches in Love

Hmmm...

Well, we'll keep working on it.

Oh, anyway, the actual story is fascinating, in a nature-is-ruthless kind of way. Check this out:

Ampulex compressa is a wasp that has evolved to tackle roaches, insert a stinger into their brains and disable their escape reflexes. This lets the wasp use the roach's antennae to steer the roach to its lair, where it can lay its egg in it.

Yikes. Sigourney Weaver, call your agent.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 09:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Welcome, blonde joke enthusiasts. Say, before you follow the link below, why not take a look around The Speculist? Are you interested in the subject of life extension or alternate energy sources? We've got it! How about some really deep ponderings (part two here) about what's happening with the universe? We have that, too.

Or maybe you'd like a quick summary of recent news related to the future? We've got it.

How about a round-up of 50 good news stories to brighten up your day? No need to be a stranger.

Paul Hsieh provides a link to what is reputed to be the funniest blonde joke ever. I'll let you all be the judge.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 04:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Since, of course, you all wanted more.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 11:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, of course they were. This makes me think two things:

1. Google must be a pretty fun place to work.

2. What could you do with a really big quantity of that stuff? Industrial sized. Could you make furniture out of it? A house? A swimming pool?

Via GeekPress.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

A new generation of scientists is here, and ready to take on the really tough questions. First we had the researchers mentioned in our previous item, daring to ask whether the constants that drive our universe are really as constant as we assume. And now this:

Australian scientists have proved what is common knowledge to most people -- that teaspoons appear to have minds of their own.

In a study at their own facility, a group of scientists from the Macfarlane Burnet Institute for Medical Research and Public Health in Melbourne secretly numbered 70 teaspoons and tracked their movements over five months.

Supporting their expectations, 80 percent of the spoons vanished during the period -- although those in private areas of the institute lasted nearly twice as long as those in communal sections.

"At this rate, an estimated 250 teaspoons would need to be purchased annually to maintain a workable population of 70 teaspoons," they wrote in Friday's festive edition of the British Medical Journal.

Fascinating. I would like to see a comparison study in the US. I think our lower rates of tea consumption might have made us less sensitive to this phenomenon. Perhaps teaspoons have been disappearing here and no one even noticed!

On the other hand, maybe our spoons are safe from this strange effect. What we really need in this country -- or at least at my house -- is a serious study of where all those socks are going.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

It's a disturbing image. Only click if you're sitting down and you've had a chance to brace yourself.

Okay, don't say I didn't warn you. Go ahead.

(Via GeekPress, who also has the scoop on Zombie Worms.)

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, this is scary.

PITTSBURGH—A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. Insufficient emergency-management-personnel training and poorly conceived undead-defense measures have left the city at great risk for all-out destruction at the hands of the living dead, according to the Zombie Preparedness Institute.

And I'm afraid that Denver is just as poorly prepared.

Posted by Phil Bowermaster at 04:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)