The Speculist

If you want to avoid an enormous spit-take, please swallow your beverage before reading the following:

A look at what's happening on the state level confirms this. In Arkansas, for instance, children's report cards now include their B.M.I., or body mass index, along with their grades. The governor, Mike Huckabee recently lost more than 100 pounds and is passionate about stopping the "obesity epidemic." Maryland is considering a similar standard.

Great idea! Let's also put their current IQ, vision, and hearing scores on the report card. And height! Maybe it's time for an all-out War on Shortness.

And what about some other important stuff: popularity, fashion sense, use of appropriate slang. Come to think of it, maybe we can reduce the entire report card to one pass-fail setting:

Hot or Not?

In my day they didn't need to put a kid's BMI on the report card. They fought an effective war on obesity by slopping generous doses of unpalatable swill onto our plates every day. Have the arcane lunch-lady arts been lost to the ravages of time?

Via InstaPundit.